Healthcare Matters

Many of us remember where we were when Neil Armstrong took his first steps on the moon. I, for one, was lying on the floor in my parents’ bedroom glued to the TV. It was late at night on the east coast –a school night no less.

Frankly, I can’t remember where I was during Janet Jackson’s legendary nip slip. I can remember that it happened during a Super Bowl halftime show, of course, but that’s about it. I guess I’m slipping too. Allow me to reset the stage: it was halftime at Super Bowl XXXVIII and Justin Timberlake was singing “And I’ll have you naked by the end of this song.” At the end of his lip synch, he grabbed a removable piece of Ms. Jackson’s bustier revealing her ringed nipple to millions. Janet Jackson claimed, outrageously, that it was a wardrobe malfunction. Believe it or not, that was 8 years ago.

My, how time flies –except in our courts apparently.

It’s taken all of those 8 years for the lower courts to rule on the action brought by the FCC against the CBS Network. Briefly, the FCC wanted $550K in fines for Ms. Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction,” and CBS said “no way.” The court ultimately sided with CBS. The judge ruled that the nip slip caused no real harm –and that $550K was nuts.

But the story won’t die.

Not the Christian “right,” but it’s the Obama administration that won’t let it go. It has asked the FCC to take the case to the Supreme Court. No, I’m not kidding. The Obama administration wants SCOTUS to overturn the lower court decision because it believes the FCC will be weakened if it can’t get away with fining CBS the $550K.

Call it the: “if-we-can’t-fine-CBS-for-a-nip-slip-in-prime-time-how-are-we-going-to-get-Rush-Limbaugh-off-the-air-case.”

Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the Obama administration bog down our highest Court with frivolities like ruling on the constitutionality of the individual mandate when nipple-gate remains unresolved. All I can say is that minds far bigger than Ms. Jackson’s breast are studying the tape and reviewing the call much like an NFL official is obliged to make a final ruling via instant replay.

Well, not exactly. There are millions of gambled dollars and hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people who are affected in some way by an NFL official’s call. If SCOTUS takes this case, there will only be 10 individuals impacted by the decision. That would be the court itself and the president.

—Tom Finn